Of all the strangers I came across,

you could've been one of them.

Of all the friends I have in my circles,

you could've been one of their friends as well.

Of all the places I've been into,

you could've been somewhere nearby.

But of all the person I can fall in love with-- 

there's you, just you, only YOU!

Merry Christmas!

I drew myself away from the shadow

And stood before the light

From where I came there's a glowing a halo

So I went back to my plight

It was you, I have your photo

The one I kiss every night

I have you on my favorite pillow

Then hugs it very tight

I may not be your life's hero

But I won't give up without a goddamn fight

I so miss that feeling when I’m inside that house. Memories were rapidly coming back like a rushing steam in the river after the heavy rain. The joy and laughter we all shared even when during the time when electricity wasn’t available yet, we would gather around in a single lamp talking about horrors and anything in particular. We sleep altogether on the floor. We play hide and seek and anything fun. That house was huge that it can accommodate our big family one at a time. However, it was modified because the materials were getting rust and worn off overtime. From how big it was it became so small that if I walk inside I should watch for my head or else I’ll get“bukol” all over. Unfortunately, during typhoon Pablo the house was completely destroyed. As in completely destroyed with no hope of restoring it back. Now back to my dream log.

I came into my dream feeling frightened from the dragon hovering in the sky that was chasing me. I was running without direction during the night in an unrecognized residential area, I guess it’s a subdivision. Later on I found this house where my sister (I presume) has been residing and asked her help if I could spend the night. Stating the reason why, she undoubtedly refused trying to keep away her children from harm which I actually understand.

The next option I had in my mind was to go in a police precinct, there I could stay the night and somehow safe from the dragon. When I came there I saw some of my colleagues at work behind bars, for whatever reason they were there I didn’t know. The place was reeking in horrible smell and it’s very tight that three prisoners do share in one bed. As I took my space on the bed where I’m the fourth person to take a share with, situated at the footer of the two other bed mates, there’s this one guy right beside me who’s so familiar that he just smiled when I took a glance at him. Then I realized that guy is my friend way back then, however, his appearance was when I first saw him in 2006 and there’s a big difference unlike today. 

I can’t remember if I had a good night sleep but all I can recall was the morning after I went outside the police precinct and found myself standing in front of a mystical forest. Ahead of me was a giant tree, about 40 feet tall with flourishing leaves. I looked into the sky worrying about that the dragon might caught me and I was thinking how will I ever stop this dragon from hunting me, so I wished for a dragon of my own. 

Later on I saw a flying creature heading towards me, I was helpless and I didn’t know what to do that I just took a rock at my feet. When this creature landed in front me I threw the stone at it and hit the right eye. The creature didn't move and when everything was clear to me it turned out that this creature was a wingless black cow and on its mouth was a baby black dragon. The cow then dropped the baby black dragon on the ground and I just thought maybe it was like a wish delivery express. Then the black cow flew towards that giant tree ahead of me and disappeared, as I watched it flying there’s a tall figure of a man who seems to be looking at me but hurriedly hide himself behind the trunk of that giant tree. 

The next thing happened was I’m trying to learn how to raise the baby black dragon in case of future combat with this dragon chasing me. Trying to think who could can possibly help me out raising my dragon I remember I have this friend to whom I thought is an expert about this stuff, although I’ve known him for taking care of high breed dogs. Together we studied the manual and suddenly the baby black dragon excretes two cute poops: it was watery, soft textured, and a yellowish in color.

Then I woke up at 9 o'clock in the morning...

Photo Credits to: Pinterest

My friend, it’s been so long since the last time I’m with you
Don’t you ever wanna see me anymore?
My friend, get away from whatever you do
Let’s be together just like before

I have so many stories you just missed
I think you’d love to hear them over and over again
Why it’s as if you’re plotting me to get dismissed?
Then tell me now if it’s time to go on a separate lane

Do you still remember that moment when you’re sad?
Oh you soaked my shirt with your tears
I remember that moment, it was so bad
Then I said “it’s fine, life would be nothing without fears”

You know I’m still right here around the corner
You can call me anytime
I can always be your entertainer
WTF happened to my partner in crime?!

Why you never talk to me for a long time?
Don’t you miss the things we love to do?
Or would you rather speak with me through a mime?
‘Coz I can master it only for you

Your absence makes myself so unhappy
You used to be my pain reliever
Just please, come to back to me
Don’t let our relationship streaming across the river

Until then, I’ll be waiting for that day to come
The day when you finally call my name
But I’ll have you know, I’ve always been lonesome
And that only you I can be with this life, they call a game

Image Credits to: The Design Inspiration

Of course it’s gonna be harder than before but then it's my decision to engage into this kind of life’s little taste of obligation.  Nevertheless, I do believe that I’m tough when it comes to this situation and therefore if it worked for me this way, then there’s a BIG chance that I’ll have a sneak peek of my future at the end.

I remember one day when a foreigner asked me “what would you like to be when you grow up?” MAYGHAD! It’s a like a million peso question that I was speechless, maybe because I have to respond in English or I’m being too realistic that I can’t think of something that in the end all will fail just because I invested too much hope and trust (like what I did to ex). Later when he figured that I’m still in doubt he then tap my head and said “awww, you’re still young” and the mini heart attack went away. But that was a long time ago, if I were asked the same question I'd probably say "I wanna be Batman" so I could answer to everyone's call when in doubt (bahala na si Batman).

Speaking of my “what would you like to be when you grow up” I’ve actually decided it after high school. It just came suddenly after I found myself reading several science books. They’re not actually intended for reading (and I’m not really a fan of reading) since my sister put it on display in the living room after she bought it on a book sale, they’re very old books that the oldest of them all was published during the 1840’s. The covers are hard like a chopping board and every page are so delicate that if you flip it carelessly it would either torn apart or cut your finger, then there comes that smell, that oddly-satisfying smell. There I discovered Science and what it has to do with our daily lives. I began to understand what is that, what is this, why, how, when, where. It’s like I’m addicted to it, like I want to learn more and those books are not enough. Then I decided when I grow up I want to become an astronaut! It's not available in the Philippines but maybe my parents can afford to enroll me abroad. When I found out the cost of the tuition fee alone, a skyrocketing amount of dollars, all I did was sat on the corner and tried not to cry.

Right now, I’m on the last year of my college (I presume, but that’s another story to tell) and I’m very hopeful that finally I’ll march on the stage wearing a toga receiving my diploma and saying “cheese” on the camera. Then my parents will cry as I see them on the crowd and I’ll cry as well, there will be hugging, relatives saying “congratulation!” on Facebook, then we’ll have a party! HAHAHA!

Anyways, I'm feeling really sad if I can't be around too often and my draft box are getting full of unfinished entry (NOOOOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY). Well, vacation is fast approaching! By then I hope I can catch up with my blog, maybe I'll try to finish some drafts then prepare some scheduled posts. For now, although I'm in between two masters: work and study, there's  nothing to worry about, you know, eve Hitler can dance...

Credits to GIPHY

“WHO’S ASKING?!” from a load vendor covered with face powder and a 10 inches thick of lipstick uttered a swift and sharp blow into my face early this morning. I was telling her the story when I mistakenly gave a wrong number the last time I load such high amount but the story was left undone when she blustered me out with some common English verbal assault. However, I wasn’t upset neither my dignity molested ‘coz in my mind she’s just another girl in town who’d love to seek attention from a handsome guy like me LOL! Well, she smiled after sayin’ it so I don’t think she took it seriously then I replied “just sharing…” and the other girl next to her giggled then said “da, di ka tubag” (baffled) then altogether we laughed. 

While in a parallel world some of my friends in Facebook are now actively participating in SPOILER ALERTS. You know how it feels when there’s a movie or a series that you’re dying to watch but you can't watch it at the moment because of transitioning from a glamourous jobless life into becoming a sincerely hard working person? It feels like I want to have sex with Melisandre to give birth to that creepy smoke-like-demon and stab them all damn spoilers on the heart.  

Aside from Facebook spoilers, the Engineer whose office is next to mine, separated only with 5mm thick plywood and if there’s an updated version of spoilers he’d be a spoiler version 5.0. Like what the hell?! He could almost tell me what happened in the entire season while leaving me imagining myself how would I feel by the time I watch it when I already knew what's gonna happen. There’s no more jaw dropping, mind bugging, and the convenience of being an individual trying to fit in oneself becoming an observer throughout the seasons while looking for the missing puzzles to complete the picture and be proud that somehow it’s possible to work with your contradicting mind—the thing that lacks from spoilers scumbag. 

I AM MAD! (who the hell cares?) This part is gonna be an open letter to Daddy D, with his compassionate heart and witty thoughts. I demand to sentence the spoilers without trial. To pierce both their eyes with both their thumbs for creating a vision of an episode without the consent of those who haven’t watch it yet. Slice off their hands for posting through social medias of snippets of the climax with captions that seems to be very captivating. Stuff their mouth with lima beans of uttering what, when, who, and where of which of the interesting characters have their unfortunate and victorious part on the episode. 

PS: No offense intended to the spoilers, it’s just an absurd expression from a frustrated avid fan. If you take it seriously, then I’ll consider you as a fool. But then, SPOILERS ARE SCUMBAG! 

I’m in the balcony right now feeling the cool breeze of the night after a day of super-hot weather that seemed to drill deep down the cavities of my bones all the way through my marrow. It’s as if I have sodium lights right above me all day. I know very well this phenomenon called “El Nino” since I was young, but unlike before it's just feel like an ordinary day and even then it rained for several instances. Then El Nino claiming the thrown again this year and I was like “OH MY GOD! ARE WE IN HELL ALREADY?!” surely I’d meet the same human civilization as of the time though, but that’s another story.

In my line of a job, being a staff on the field I’d usually expose myself outside which I can’t complain since it’s on the job description. I can hide beneath the shades of every tree I see, I can lurk myself inside the office, and I can take an umbrella if need be but that’s  awkward, right? But no matter how I try to evade the glorious beam of the solar heat I’d still get fried as if I’m inside of an oven wrapped with foil packaging in 10 layers. I can’t remember when was the last time it rained or if by any chance it’d occurred during the night which is not helpful, now I’m starting to think workers at rain factory are somehow a bunch of douchebags.

It's so hot rocks are starting to give out their moistures and I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d get soften like peeled boiled-eggs. I thought, what if I put corn kernels on top of our roof or on the road, would they even get cooked? Hmmm… I can give it a try tomorrow. Oh! I could blend in sugar like it’s caramelized popcorn (seems to be an exciting experiment I’m looking forward to).

Seriously, the human civilization are to be blame for such extreme change of nature—it’s a big slap to all Earthlings including myself. While climate change has been there millions of years ago and is an inevitable occurrence that in spite of all the technological advancements we have and that are yet to discover, it’s all for nothing when compared to nature..

It’s been 200,000 years since humanity started to walk on this planet and the Earth was believed to have formed 4.5 billion years ago. Imagine million years ago everything was fine in the nature, atmospheric phenomenon was normal by then ‘til we recently alter the routine. Take the Ice age for example, it’s a recurring event that Earth would go through sporadically (that’s according to the theory) but instead it’s been compromised because of the global warming that is in exchange melting the huge sheet of ice in the Antarctic resulting to gradually rising of sea levels and in the future would cover a part of the known land or rather, if God forbid, the entire continents. Congratulations to us all for giving out such effort to achieve this drastic changes.

Well, I won’t deny the fact that I’m one of the motivators to this “greenhouse gas effect” from my carbon footprint and neither would I deny that I do action against it, as in consistently. However, there are several organizations like Greenpeace and the recent CO2 global agreement who are promoting to lessen and/or to prevent, if not to stop, the conundrum we face today. But I don’t think we need to be in an organization to do our part. If only people will come to realize that this planet isn’t just a solid mass of rock but a home for all the living. My point is (if anyone cares) we can’t complain about how Mother Nature runs her business, it’s a game of monopoly and obviously, she owns everything.

The other night, while lying on my bed, checking on my facebook account, I’ve been receiving feeds from several facebook groups that I can’t remember I'm one of their members (I know that my friends could’ve actually invited me and facebook has this some kind of glitch that you’ll be on that group whether you accept it or not). Leaving it one by one ‘til what’s left are those I have legitimately joined and those that I’ve created. Groups I’ve created mostly for academic purposes during those college days, I could delete it but I was thinking it’d be fun and somehow nostalgic reading my years-old comments or ideas or rants during that time.

*Reading…*

I’m surprised how academically inclined I was (LOL!)—like the terms I’ve used before, the discussions I had with my classmates, the ideas I thrown at, the file sharing of home works and projects, the network of people in common cause, and then the group from my SAD (System Analysis and Design) subject *deep sigh*. If I were asked how fun college was, I’d say it’s horrible. I mean, you can have all the fun if you want but it keeps on reminding you that you’re designing your own future ahead by building a foundation of knowledge for the moment. I wouldn’t deny though that I’ve been naughty, that I failed some of my subjects, and that I came to the point of regretting what I’ve done. People may think I’ve been into college for so many years, transferring to different institutions, and taking different courses without finishing one but no, I only enrolled in one university and took only one course but due to financial issues that I couldn’t finish it straight away. 

At the last quarter of the yesteryear, my mama encouraged me to finish my study but I doubt that I’m still capable of dealing with my subjects since I was away for far too long and never have I had a chance to practice what I’ve learned. But she insisted saying it’s the only thing she can give that will never be taken away from me and then the stream of wisdom rushed into the dried river of hope, I guess they’re right about “mothers knows best.” Still unsure, I asked some of my thinking friends a piece of their advice and they all agreed that I should better get back to college. 

June is fast approaching and I can’t make a decision yet. Isn’t it because I have a good paying job? Or I’m reluctant to ask for financial assistance from my parents again? You see, right now that I’m currently hired in a construction company I can make use of my salary to share a part in paying bills, I can lend money to my mama when she’s out of budget, I can buy the things I want, and I can save up to hopefully putting a business in the future (CHARRRROTTTT!). Now, if I go back to college having no financial resources but my parents it’d be somehow unacceptable in my part (pride claims its spot). First, I’m old enough, too old. Second, my mama do most of the financing even if my papa and sisters promised that they’ll help. Third, I love mama. My reasons might be too shallow, too unnecessary, it’s pointless—that’s why when I think of having a good career, the one that I wrote on the autograph asking “what is your ambition in life?” I’ll answer “to have a stable job” and my job is some sort of like I'm a seasonal worker, not because of the atmospheric conditions as explained in my Economics textbook but it’s like if there’s a project where I could squeeze in, then I’ll fit, if none then I have to find another job.

All the people I asked about me going back to college, the single most common advice they’d say is that “you’re lucky you have someone to support you” which is true. I still have my parents and my sisters who’s willing to assist and I know for sure I can do better than before like “HEY! YOU DOUCHEBAG DON’T YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT?!” But what’s really stopping me if I knew already the reasons and things I should work for to make it work? Oh wait! Now I know… 

End.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you want to volunteer for the Mt. Apo mission, preferably with mountaineering experience, they needed more RUNNERS to deliver water and foods to the front-liner of the mission, hiking forth and back for hours, if you think you are capable to do the responsibility and is interested or have something to help please contact Mr. Rey P. Llanes. Thank you and God bless!

After 5 days vacation away from the usual daily routine: no work, no TV, no radio, no internet. Just when we came back home and checked on my facebook, I was terrified to hear about the news that Mt. Apo is on raging forest fire, at least a part of its 200 hectares has been engulfed with fire and would devastate further if not prevented. Thanks to the brave responders and volunteers who have risk their lives battling to aid the need of saving one of the natures’ wonderful creations. Right now, they have contained some parts of the mountain but still doing their best to completely put an end to this awful incident. Let’s just pray that everyone will be safe after everything is under control.

To what I know, forest fire can be a natural occurrence and/or man-made disaster but anyhow it will mainly distress the ecosystem of the environment, the flora and fauna which habitat were established within the affected region. Further, if it doesn’t prevented and reached the nearby community it will surely affect their livelihood and people may lost their homes. The smog, when inhaled may cause serious pulmonary problems specially among the kids whose immune system can’t tolerate such harsh atmospheric condition.

"Whatever Nature has in store for mankind, unpleasant as it may be, men must accept, for ignorance is never better than knowledge."
Enrico Fermi (1901 - 1954)
Italian-born U.S. physicist.

A month ago, while we’re having a beer session with my new found friend, he asked me if I have ever climb on Mt. Apo before, how I wish I did but never have I walk at least on its foothill, thus, that would be no. Then we made plans and scheduled the adventure on the holy week and I just can’t wait for that day to come.

I’ve been mesmerizing to see the mountain up-close ‘coz since I was a kid, I’ve been watching it from the balcony. Yes, right in front of our house is the view of the mighty Mt. Apo. I remember when we had a telescope powerful enough to zoom into the mountain ‘til you can recognize a particular tree, there I found out that there are camps or stations built solving the mystery of why there seems to be a huge bonfire (probably the lighting distorted by the atmosphere like in the case of the stars) during the night. During rainy seasons the mountain would appear like a huge silhouette of a dinosaur-like-Godzilla and in the clear and bright days it would look stunningly beautiful revealing the vibrant and flourished vegetation. I also observed the windblown clouds firsthand that I thought I’d only read on the book and when that large fluffy cumulus cloud passes through it casts a shadow on the mountain as if it was an Alien mothership like in sci-fi movies.

Mt. Apo do fascinates me making me so much excited to experience what it was like to be there. While some lucky people told their stories of the difficulty to survive the mountain, my hopes still remains high. If I was born during the tertiary period, I’d still be alive as of today (*sarcasm*). I envy them actually by looking at their captured moments on the mountain, I mean not them doing the “Y” post but the surroundings (looooser!).

However, I was waiting for my new found friend to confirm the plan, the going into Mt. Apo. Holy week was fast approaching and still nothing, so I guess he’s just driven by false promises, the usual thing happen when people befuddled due to alcohol. Then I decided to go with my family at the province, there we memorialize the holy week but it’s a different story.

Human civilization have evolved progressively to improve the human life and to develop furthermore for our own benefits, advancing to technology and creating remarkable inventions until such time when we’re able to go into the depths of the ocean and travel beyond our own planet. We built skyscrapers and man-made islands, we’re able to communicate on the other side of the globe, we can now travel by land, by sea, or by air, and we’re still looking forward for the things that are yet to discover.

Who needs a mountain anyway? When we live in cities without verdant unique vegetation and free roaming endangered animals. When we’re certainly sure that there’s no such forest fire that would ever occur at the highway intersection. And when going into malls without having to climb on slopy hills. Such a waste of life.

Things maybe a lot easier than before, more attractive than the other, and more convenient than it used to be. It’s how human being would always choose to prefer—the easy way. Though it’s not entirely bad ‘coz me myself would have chosen the same thing if given the situation of difficulty but sometimes, just sometimes, let us pay respect to Mother Nature. This is not just about what’s currently happening in Mt. Apo but I’m calling everyone to let’s unite in preserving the nature, we may disregard the pain it endures as long as we can still live on this world and die without having to suffer the future catastrophe when things are getting worst, a tremendous catastrophe awaits for our future generation if not, at least, prevented.


SAVE MT. APO!

Dear Human Who Got ntfl,

The other night I was pretty much intoxicated with alcohol that I never thought I’d bump into you (I'm sorry 'bout that) whom I presumed to be agitated with the little corner of my annoyingly playful behavior. The next morning I just found myself exchanging messages with you as if we’ve known for long but it’s kind of a bit intimidating knowing that we haven’t formally introduce ourselves but in my second thought I don’t think it’s necessary for the likes of us who are both footloose and fancy free.

As we discussed more of our life through text messages I was expecting that we’d somehow talk about love, I wasn’t wrong.

“Do you have a lover already?” I said.

“ntfl” you replied.

NFTL WHAT?! So as to keep the coolness I fought to survive during our conversation I was forced to use one of my life lines, I called my best friend who once became a “jejemon” but is now reborn to live a human life and viola! He knew what am I struggling for. It’s an acronym (probably user defined) for “No Time For Love” as in “ntfl” then I realized I might have went far beyond your friendzone and maybe I should walk back inside the parameter. Of course it’s a just a text message like I can use the combined courage of all inspirational hero in Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, One Punch Man, and Power Rangers but I’m not like anyone else who would fight to persist the uncertainties in the field of love that’s why I didn’t ask you further about why “No Time For Love” but instead I lose all my presumptions that you somehow admires me. LOL!  Perhaps I'm starting to be like Jon Snow... Anyways, we continued exchanging messages but eventually went vanished into the invisible alley of frequencies.

but for no apparent reason it blew off,

Well, I won’t deny I fell for you, maybe for a moment or I was too reluctant to show off the little things I can do in the name of love. I know it’s a part of my abstract talent I haven’t practice for a while, thus, I’m not good at it. But then I hope to see you once more, I mean, see you when I see you. K, bye.

Lately, I’ve been so busy with my job that I forgot to spare some time with my endangered passion, writing. Though sometimes I deal with my paper works ahead giving me the opportunity such as this, to enjoy this moment while everything seemed to be prepared and arranged. But the fact that writing isn’t just the only source of my happiness and it may be less ecstatic among the others, I tend to turn it down and then feel a little guilty inside. I promised to myself that after I made my way back in the blogosphere having been idled for like a few years I’ll try to be more consistent in writing for my blog, this time, it turns out the ship is tilting obliquely but here I am! Yes, here I am!

So, how am I doing? I’m doing fine, I got the job I mentioned about from my previous post Doubtful Hopes  and little by little I bought the stuff that I would be needing for my college come back. So…

About my job, it’s good. Same as before when I worked as a timekeeper in Pikit, North Cotabato project last 2013. The only thing that change was I have workmates in the office unlike before that I’m completely alone. They are the Project Manager, Project Engineer, and the Foreman. Their job title may sound intimidating (it’s actually is) but we we’re like friends although they're like my fathers' age. We discuss different issues within the project, the improvements, our suggestions, our discouragements, our disappointments, and sometimes a sprinkle of philosophical yet half-meant insensitive and flattery jokes. Well, since I mentioned about them why not share something of their characteristics that I observed overtime. To start with…

1. Project Manager

Intimidating Level: 70%

Description: He’s a Muslim, brother-in-law of the “BIG BOSS”, average Filipino height and would usually wear quick-dry-fitted shirt with straight-cut long pants and a steel toe shoes which he keeps on bragging that it came all the way from Mars. He’s not bossy and not strict but I know there’s a dark side within him or something that I will never get a touch of.

2. Project Engineer

Intimidating Level: 50%

Description: She’s a Muslim as well but not a relative to the “BIG BOSS”, inspite of being so talkative that I could almost write an “MMK Letter” of her life’s story and as the closest workmate among the others, I still keep my good manners towards her as an Engineer. I mean, there are times that it may go to the level of talking to someone you know very well that if you’d hit them it’ll just be a friendly thing.

3. Foreman

Intimidating Level: 50%

Description: I’ve known him before as he used to work for my father, however, there are issues between them that may cause (I hope not) to affect the mutual relationship we have. I don’t know but sometimes there’s this thought that he may be playing safe or something, I don't care.

Other than these three individuals I also made friends with other employees ‘coz I’m friendly, right? My job is to keep everyone's working hours including activities at work. The only difficult thing about that they (somehow) don’t take me seriously. I mean, we’re friends during and after work but all I ask was a little respect to my duty because they're not the one to get called out by the boss.

So there, it gets a little busier since then and paper works are in line for processing, reports, dealing with people, dealing with my job, my commitment to myself, my time for my family, for my friends, and for my blog. This is the first for January and I pray that this is the beginning of the many for this year, beginning of something not stressful other than this. LOL! 

PS: This entry was made possible after I asked for a day off to process some documents for my college but it’s a failure ‘coz the document was printed unproportioned to the paper size they’ve used and it’s a week process to request another copy. Guess I'll have to ask for another day off.