Of Going Back To College

The other night, while lying on my bed, checking on my facebook account, I’ve been receiving feeds from several facebook groups that I can’t remember I'm one of their members (I know that my friends could’ve actually invited me and facebook has this some kind of glitch that you’ll be on that group whether you accept it or not). Leaving it one by one ‘til what’s left are those I have legitimately joined and those that I’ve created. Groups I’ve created mostly for academic purposes during those college days, I could delete it but I was thinking it’d be fun and somehow nostalgic reading my years-old comments or ideas or rants during that time.

*Reading…*

I’m surprised how academically inclined I was (LOL!)—like the terms I’ve used before, the discussions I had with my classmates, the ideas I thrown at, the file sharing of home works and projects, the network of people in common cause, and then the group from my SAD (System Analysis and Design) subject *deep sigh*. If I were asked how fun college was, I’d say it’s horrible. I mean, you can have all the fun if you want but it keeps on reminding you that you’re designing your own future ahead by building a foundation of knowledge for the moment. I wouldn’t deny though that I’ve been naughty, that I failed some of my subjects, and that I came to the point of regretting what I’ve done. People may think I’ve been into college for so many years, transferring to different institutions, and taking different courses without finishing one but no, I only enrolled in one university and took only one course but due to financial issues that I couldn’t finish it straight away. 

At the last quarter of the yesteryear, my mama encouraged me to finish my study but I doubt that I’m still capable of dealing with my subjects since I was away for far too long and never have I had a chance to practice what I’ve learned. But she insisted saying it’s the only thing she can give that will never be taken away from me and then the stream of wisdom rushed into the dried river of hope, I guess they’re right about “mothers knows best.” Still unsure, I asked some of my thinking friends a piece of their advice and they all agreed that I should better get back to college. 

June is fast approaching and I can’t make a decision yet. Isn’t it because I have a good paying job? Or I’m reluctant to ask for financial assistance from my parents again? You see, right now that I’m currently hired in a construction company I can make use of my salary to share a part in paying bills, I can lend money to my mama when she’s out of budget, I can buy the things I want, and I can save up to hopefully putting a business in the future (CHARRRROTTTT!). Now, if I go back to college having no financial resources but my parents it’d be somehow unacceptable in my part (pride claims its spot). First, I’m old enough, too old. Second, my mama do most of the financing even if my papa and sisters promised that they’ll help. Third, I love mama. My reasons might be too shallow, too unnecessary, it’s pointless—that’s why when I think of having a good career, the one that I wrote on the autograph asking “what is your ambition in life?” I’ll answer “to have a stable job” and my job is some sort of like I'm a seasonal worker, not because of the atmospheric conditions as explained in my Economics textbook but it’s like if there’s a project where I could squeeze in, then I’ll fit, if none then I have to find another job.

All the people I asked about me going back to college, the single most common advice they’d say is that “you’re lucky you have someone to support you” which is true. I still have my parents and my sisters who’s willing to assist and I know for sure I can do better than before like “HEY! YOU DOUCHEBAG DON’T YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT?!” But what’s really stopping me if I knew already the reasons and things I should work for to make it work? Oh wait! Now I know… 

End.