I might not be credible enough to use such a title, for I know it isn't just me who knows me. While I gradually eliminated those undesirable behaviors, only two out of an immeasurable number of people know: just me and God. Yes, my family and friends might have noticed, but wrongs aren't easily forgotten, and good deeds often become nostalgic memories. No one seems to care until they realize they existed, and I have no complaints about that. God is my witness, and I couldn't ask for more.
Wait, did I turn my intro into a brief drama? Most definitely!
Anyway, I was once again tested by a worldly desire, which many of us fall into because who would miss an opportunity for fleeting happiness, right? Well, I just did. It is my cousin's birthday, and I can literally hear them doing karaoke as I write this. Unfortunately, I cannot join them, which will disappoint him because we don't see each other often since he lives in the countryside, and I'm in the city most of the time. If I weren't responsible for watching over my nephews who are currently sleeping, I probably would have sung 2 to 5 songs already while gulping a cold glass of Red Horse Beer or the bitterness of Tanduay Select.
Then there's a voice in my head saying, "My nephews are sleeping; they wouldn't know I'm gone." The venue is about 50 meters away, and they're sleeping on the second level of our unfinished house. If not for the thin roofs we attached as walls and Mama's extra-long curtains to cover the unfinished windows, it would be completely exposed. My concern is their security: what if this and what if that? Also, I wouldn't want them to feel betrayed if they suddenly wake up, which they usually do, and find out I'm nowhere to be seen where they last saw me before they slept. I'm building trust with them as they are entrusted to me.
That's why I'm writing this now, grappling with the strong desire to join my cousin's birthday bash, where they are probably having so much fun with our circle of friends. I was even at the point where I stood up and was ready to go, but my responsibility dragged me back to bed—nuh-uh! Not this time.
Realizing how I have transformed makes me feel like I'm really heading towards something that will make me useful. I don't want to praise myself for the good deeds I've done because I believe it's something I possess, and unraveling them one step at a time is what I'm really supposed to do. It's God's given grace that we, His people, always fall short of putting into good use.
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