End

I now considered love as one of the most dangerous things because it made do the thing I am most afraid of and that is to end, what I thought to be, my everlasting happiness leaving promises unfulfilled and neglecting myself for the opportunity. For someone like me, I'd say I am less fortunate when it comes to getting into a serious relationship, in my 30’s I only had two. I am whose happiness doesn’t have to be from someone maybe because I am used to be with myself and yet still be happy, it’s not that much but it’s enough. 

I always thought I already knew what the world has in store for me but everything changed when Seph came. I started to fill the “missing parts of my life” which I have no idea that it was there. I was amazed by how I responded to the vibration of love. Seriously, it made me feel like I’m back in my kindergarten days struggling to write my name on a piece of paper and when I’m done it felt so rewarding I bragged about it to my friends during our plays. I was never motivated like that before, never empowered, never happy, and never loved. The joy of waking up every day knowing that someone actually cared for me was too much to imagine. Hugs and kisses were the sweetest. Travels I wish that never end and whenever we were together it was like my heaven on Earth. It changes my entire perception of life and made me embarrassed by how little I've known. God knows how much I love you Seph.

The world is so beautiful it was made out of perfection but it also has its taste of bitterness, just like our relationship. We’ve been through the storms of life it could tear us apart nevertheless, we remained resilient through it all but little did I know the worst is yet to come. I was afraid of the day when everything has to end, I was very afraid to hear those words so I tried to be enough if I can’t be the best. I kept on trying but I kept on failing until it was clear to me that I failed. It made me realized that I shouldn’t take things for granted, that I should’ve spent more than enough time despite being occupied, and that it doesn’t mean that there's nothing wrong means there’s no problem. I don’t want someone to suffer just because of the actions that I could’ve corrected before it gotten worst and I don’t want someone to sacrifice their own happiness so as not to cause me pain. 

It was really surprising that what I’m most afraid of was the one I’ve chosen to do, love, truly is dangerous.